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My Parcel Delivery Blog

Parcel Porn: The parcel-lover’s guide to the unboxing experience

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Let My Parcel Delivery escort you through the euphoria and ecstasy of the unboxing experience. Because there are few pleasures in life greater than the physical and emotional bond between a person and their new parcel.

 

A memory to cherish forever

There are things in life you never forget. Your wedding day, the birth of your first child or the time you prise open the lid of a new parcel. Don’t forget, as you lay eyes on your delivery for the first time, it’s normal to cry. A single tear of joy creeps down your cheek. ‘Thank you,’ you’ll whimper to a confused delivery driver. These are the moments that make life special.

 

The physical response

Your new parcel has arrived and emotions are running high. You will be experiencing a range of feelings as you prepare to unbox your delivery: lust, excitement, fear (have you bought the right size?).  Spend a moment doing some calming breathing exercises and be aware of your symptoms. Your blood pressure rises, your heart rate quickens and you may become flushed around the face, neck and chest. There’s nothing to worry about; this is just the body’s natural reaction to the parcel delivery experience.

 

Make it last

It is tempting, so very tempting, to be swept away in the moment. You may get carried away at the thought of only a few pieces of bubble wrap being between you and your long-awaited goods. But, resist your primal urges. Slowly pick away the packing tape. Gently unwrap the ribbon. Take your time. Enjoy this experience.

 

Use your hands

The moment you open your parcel is very special. You gently lift your new phone from the packaging and it is as good as everyone told you it would be. You take a moment to run your hands over its smooth surface. Savour the oddly satisfying feeling of peeling the protective plastic from the screen. Sensory overload.

 

Bragging rights

Of course, you want to share your leg-shaking parcel delivery experience with your friends; a few photos of your new trainers (before they get too dirty) on Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp. Remember to tag them with #ParcelPorn before posting. It’s just common courtesy to warn people before they get an eyeful.

 

Post-parcel bliss

You’re exhausted and there are sheets of packing paper on the floor. You don’t have a care in the world. You’ve just had the time of your life and you’re riding the Oxytocin train. You’ve never enjoyed opening another parcel more in your life. Savour this feeling. Soon you will have to take it out and put it in the recycling bin. The council come to collect cardboard on Tuesday.